What happens when a doctor's dismissal leads you to question your own sanity? This is what patient advocates call "medical gaslighting." Lara Parker knows all about the consequences of not being believed. She lives with pain all over her body. She's passed out from the pain multiple times. She's constantly nauseous, has horrible cramps, and has chronic vaginal and vulvar pain. But, after years of dismissal from doctors, Lara starts to wonder: Am I imagining it?

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Sex hurts the first time, but then it gets better. Right? This is the message so many of us grew up with. We saw it in movies and heard it from friends. But what if sex isn’t supposed to hurt? How much pain is too much pain? When is pain “normal” and when does it require medical attention? These are questions that Maura, a teacher and dancer, has spent almost her whole life thinking about. In today's episode, we hear from Maura, and many others, about how and why they've spent years putting up with pain.

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By the time Shelby was 22 years old, she'd seen not one, not two, not three, but twelve different doctors in search of a diagnosis. And this is not an uncommon experience for people with vaginismus, vulvodynia, and other vulvar pain conditions. In today’s episode, we’re taking a look inside the exam room to try to understand why so many people with vaginas that hurt have to seek out dozens of doctors before getting a diagnosis, let alone a treatment plan.

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For as long as Noa can remember, penetrative sex -- actually any kind of penetration (tampons, pelvic exams, etc.) -- has been so painful it’s physically impossible. And, until very recently, she kept it secret from almost everyone she knew. Where and how do women like Noa learn to keep their pain secret?

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